E's Reviews: Solo - A Star Wars Story (WARNING: Major Spoilers Ahead)

Alright...before I begin, I just couldn’t write a review for this film without including major spoilers in the plot or talk about that twist ending that made me cringe, so again...there will be spoilers. That being said...Chewie, PUNCH IT!!!

Solo - A Star Wars Story was directed by the hit-or-miss Ron Howard and stars Alden Ehrenreich as a young Han Solo, Joonas Suotamo as a young Chewbacca, Woody Harrelson as Han’s mentor Beckett, Emilia Clarke as Qi’ra, Donald Glover as a young Land Calrissian, Thandie Newton as Val, Phoebe Waller-Bridge as Lando’s co-pilot droid L3-37, Paul Bettany as the antagonist Dryden Vos, and the voice of Jon Favreau as Rio Durant. So you’d think with a cast like this one, there’s no way that Ron Howard could mess this movie up or that the acting would be terrible, right? Oh, almost forgot...Sam Witwer did a voice in the movie...and Ray Park is in the movie, too...so that should tell you everything about that secret twist at the end. But let’s start simple...

The acting in this film, I felt, was very competent. Woody Harrelson is usually fantastic in every role he’s done since his comeback to film in the mid-2000’s. That being said, however, he felt kind of flat in his role as Beckett. He seemed like he did his best with the script he had but I couldn’t get over the spinning blaster sequence when we’re first introduced to him. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is somewhat charming as L3-37 (get it? leet? 1337? Yeah...I cringed too...), but some of her lines felt forced down our throats, as they try to push a social justice narrative onto us. It really isn’t as bad as I’m letting on though, it’s not horribly forced onto us, she just wants freedom for all droids...without the Bender from Futurama plan of killing all humans. Paul Bettany puts on a great performance as Dryden Vos. He was charismatic at times, sometimes brutal, and he is on point with just how serious he is as a villain, and he had some of the best makeup effects in the entire movie. Not kidding, I actually said “wow” a few times, especially whenever he was angry, it was really cool to look at (I’ll go more into depth below).

Thandie Newton and Jon Favreau as Beckett’s crew mates Val and Rio are awesome, they were 100% the heart and soul of the film...which is terrible because they’re killed off before the 30 minute mark. It legitimately disappointed me when these characters were killed and replaced by Han and Chewie. I kinda wanted to see more of them, see some character development, something out of them. Alden is surprisingly good as Han (not amazing, but good). He does Harrison Ford some justice, even looking a bit like a young Harrison Ford in the process. Emilia Clarke is...sort of annoying, really, in this movie. As good as she is in Game Of Thrones, she has had a track record of not being very good in movies (see: Terminator Genisis). Donald frikkin Glover as Lando is amazing. His character is cool, suave, charismatic, funny...he’s like a young Billy Dee Williams and has shown us that he definitely could someday do a Lando spin-off all on his own. He was a real treat to watch!

Now the directing...which I thought was competent, but nothing amazing. Ron Howard has been at the forefront of some of the biggest movies (Apollo 13), and some of them have been utter failures (the Robert Langdon Trilogy Da Vinci Code, Angels & Demons, Inferno). He uses a visual style that completely destroyed the experience for me, as he does mostly biopics or films that are rooted in reality...which doesn’t fit a Star Wars film. The visuals were utterly boring to look at. I swear, there was a gray-scale filter over every shot. I’d get this scene where we’re supposed to get a gorgeous wide shot, with an interesting angle, but there was nothing in the scene that made it pop out at me or make it seem nice to look at. The colors were all wrong. You’d expect things to actually look good in something like a sci-fi fantasy film like the Star Wars saga...but this one felt absolutely flat. It was so boring I actually found myself distracted by movement in the audience, even considering taking my phone out at times.

The script also suffered in this movie. Some of the lines were straight up stolen from older movies in the franchise. When it happens once or twice, you’re expected to chuckle and say something like “Ah I see what they did there!” But when it happens 4, 5, 6 times after that...you have to attribute this to lazy writing. They probably wanted to make it a running gag, but it just didn’t feel funny. The screenplay also kind of sucked, and this is where we get into spoilers territory. There were interesting sequences where we’re introduced to Han and Qi’ra as street rat (think Aladdin) kids living in this ghetto planet where they have to work for this syndicate (gang). We’re treated with some minor exposition of where they’re from and who they currently are, then there’s an action sequence, then they sandwich in something meant to be tense but it doesn’t feel tense (when they’re trying to sneak on board a spaceship cause they want a better life), and then they go to another scene where after Qi’ra is taken by the syndicate’s trackers, Han vows to get her back and joins the Imperial fleet to become a pilot. Now...the editing here is all over the place, it’s messy and choppy. It felt like they were trying to cram a lot of stuff into one sequence and that was supposed to be our intro, but they do this during the ENTIRE MOVIE. You get these drawn out, boring sequences of exposition sandwiched between action sequences, but they’re so poorly written that you feel like walking out of the theater (which, by the way, I actually saw three people do...in a STAR WARS MOVIE!!!)
The CGI was bearable, as you’d expect. The only standout to me was when Dryden Vos got made, and the markings on his face shone bright red. Now, this is where the gray scale filter actually stood out to me. They had the scene right, they had the color right, but instead of something that popped out at you, you get this bland colorization that almost ruined the scene for me. If not for Paul Bettany being amazing at his role, it would’ve been a ruined scene. The action sequences were pretty good, although like most of the film, the editing was kinda rough. The CGI during the Kessel Run was interesting. The crew need to escape from this planet with some unrefined mineral that’ll explode and kill them all unless they get to a refinery. They have to go through this maelstrom in space which is, basically, a giant cloud of dust where planets are born and die, with a huge gravity well (black hole) in the middle of it. Now, you can’t navigate the maelstrom, so L3 has a map in her head that’ll help them get through safely...unfortunately an Imperial Star Destroyer stands in our hero’s way. So what do they do? They head INTO the cloud. This is probably the coolest sequence in the movie, as they fly through destroyed planets, debris, all the while dodging blaster fire from Tie Fighters...and then come across a giant tentacle alien monster that made me think of H.P. Lovecraft. Then they come across the gravity well, Han uses it to kill the monster, then they have to escape using some of the unrefined mineral to boost their ship to do the Kessel Run...which they do and is over in about a second. The sequence leading up to the actual Kessel Run was great, albeit not tense at all...and then the Kessel Run was lackluster. I expected more out of it.

Then we have the third act, the mercenaries/pirates that have been plaguing Beckett and Han all movie long are revealed as rebels (See how they did that? They tied them into the movie...), Beckett and co. have a change of heart and decide to screw over Dryden Vos, then Beckett betrays Han, then Han and Qi’ra fight off Dryden Vos, Qi’ra kills him with some kung fu (seriously), then Han goes after Beckett and kills him. Then we get the mystery reveal...Apparently, Darth Maul is alive (bottom half robot) and is the head of a syndicate known as Crimson Dawn, and Qi’ra is apparently his spy. That’s the BIG OH MY GOSH reveal. I sat there, watched that scene, and was just not surprised at all. It was more or less par for the course for this movie. Nothing was surprising to me...not one damn thing. Not even how Lando beats Han the first time they play cards for the Millennium Falcon. Not even when Lando agrees to join them because money talks. Not even when Han shows up at the end, and beats Lando fair and square for the Falcon. Nothing about this movie was great to me...and it could have been. There was potential there to be great...but it just fell flat, like so many other Ron Howard directed films.

Overall, the movie suffers from being overly bloated with exposition and trying to tie into the other movies in the franchise. It tries to world build before even gaining steam and tries to expand on the saga of Star Wars by hinting at things like where Rey came from (safe money is that she’s the daughter of Qi’ra), hints at an Obi Wan movie (you know he’s gonna go after Maul), and it even hints at a potential sequel where Han and Chewie join up with Jabba to do a big job for him. It’s trying too hard to make Han Solo into a franchise, when he already was. They could’ve really done a solid science fiction film in the Star Wars universe without the world building, and we would’ve all loved it. Instead, we got boring visuals, a terrible script, and direction that just felt boring. Like the prequel trilogy, I refuse to watch this movie again and will not be owning it. I wonder what kind of strange reality I live in where I enjoyed Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare way more than a STAR WARS movie... But that’s just my opinion on Solo. Have you seen it yet? What did you think of it? Sound off below!

Final Score: 4.5/10