E's Reviews RETRO: Wishmaster

Above all else...fear the Djinn...just not this Djinn...this Djinn has one-liners and isn’t too terrifying...

Wishmaster is a horror film from 1997 which, at the time, I thought was actually really good. It’s also not THAT retro...I mean, it’s from the 90’s...and I guess that does count now (it’s over 20 years old! Oh man I feel old now...) The film was directed by Robert Kurtzman and executive produced by none other than the man, the legend, Wes Craven (R.I.P.) That alone should make us feel optimistic right? Well...I honestly can’t believe Wes attached his name to this film. It stars Tammy Lauren as Alex, Andrew Divoff as the Djinn/Nathaniel, and AGAIN another legend...Robert Englund as Raymond Beaumont. There’s even a cameo by Ted Raimi in the film!

The story goes, there is a place between Earth and Heaven, a place of fire and darkness, where the Djinn live. Once someone makes 3 wishes from one of these Djinn, the barrier drops and the Djinn will come and rule over mankind. Pretty cool lore so far. The film started promising, as well, with a Persian king making wishes, the demonic Djinn granting them in, as expected, horrific fashion (there’s seriously even a snake man in the movie...it’s pretty freaky to see), and then the king’s sorcerer using a magical stone to trap the Djinn and end his reign of terror. We fast forward to “present” day, and our heroine gets her hands on the stone, accidentally freeing the Djinn, and he goes on to wreak havoc, offering wishes in exchange for souls, becoming more and more powerful, and trying to get Alex to make her 3 wishes to unleash Hell on Earth.

Let’s get to the good bits before I go on my rant on the bad. Andrew Divoff as the Djinn is actually really entertaining to watch. He’s got some quirky one-liners that remind me of Freddy (which I’m sure is what the writer was going for...a new Freddy since Nightmare on Elm Street was basically over by this point). The Djinn looked cool, too. The makeup effects were really well done, the gore not overbearing. The lore of the film was really intriguing, too. The acting from Robert Englund was, as expected, spot on. He was classy as his character of Raymond Beaumont. He felt like a refined businessman who knew his history very well, especially on interesting, obscure, artifacts. The story itself was also not too bad, being carried by the very interesting lore of these Djinn. The film had some really great cameos in it, including Kane Hodder and Tony Todd (horror icons!) But...that’s about it when it comes to this movie. On to the bad...

This movie is not filmed well at all. The camera work was acceptable, but everything looked too BRIGHT for a horror film. The movie almost exclusively took place during the daytime. It never once looked gritty or horrifying. Sure, there were jump scares, but they never took me by surprise or terrified me in the least. It didn’t look creepy, despite the amazing makeup effects and the Djinn doing his best to be a badass monster. The way it was lit up the entire time, made me think I was watching a romantic comedy or something, that’s how bad it was. The script was cringy as ever, with some subplot about Alex’s family being burned alive in a fire, and her being only able to save her sister, and then another subplot about how Alex coaches a girls basketball team and about staying focused, and a kind of unrequited love from a best friend who gets friendzoned (and then murdered) right after. It just felt messy to watch. Then there’s the acting...everyone was fine, except for Tammy Lauren. She was very weak on-screen, her facial expressions made me bored, the way she screamed and reacted to things annoyed me. I’m not sure if it was the directing, the script, or just her that made her act that way, but it pulled me out of the movie and I had to just hate it. You know how there are horror films that are not meant to be taken seriously, and are just there for a good time? Something simple where you’re just there to eat popcorn and kind of chuckle at what’s on the screen? Well, it seemed like someone forgot to tell Tammy Lauren about that, because she was taking this movie way too seriously. Andrew Denioff and the rest of the cast looked like they were having a great time, but Tammy looked like she didn’t even want to be in the movie.

All in all, a very cheesy film. A lot of scenes were just way too bright for me to think it was a horror film, the acting was mediocre at best (because of Tammy Lauren’s lead performance...what the hell was that...), but had intriguing lore and a damn cool villain. There were even some points where it looked like it was headed towards body horror H.P. Lovecraft-esque moments...and never got there, which was disappointing.

Final Score: 4/10