E's Reviews RETRO: Children of the Corn (1984)



CHILDREN OF THE CORN was directed by Fritz Kiersch, based on a short story by Stephen King, and was written by George Goldsmith, starring Peter Horton, Linda Hamilton, and R.G. Armstrong, and is about a young couple who become trapped in a remote town in Nebraska where a dangerous religious cult of children believe everyone over the age of 18 must be killed and sacrificed to a Higher Power that may or may not be, God.

So...I admit...I watched this once before as a kid, on Halloween (as most kids do). It was on TV and was edited for television (meaning all the blood and gore was taken out...not like there was much to begin with). I own it on Blu-Ray (and digital) and decided for this series on 80's horror, I'd watch it and review it and...I...I really do regret that decision. As always, I start with the things I disliked, of which there are many...For starters, the acting is absolutely atrocious (I frikkin HATED Malachi...that was one kid I wished would just shut up and die already...) The score was mediocre at best. The editing was kind of strange and boring. That's a great way to describe this movie, it's boring. There's absolutely nothing of interest going on. It's also not scary or disturbing at all. This was the short story they decided to adapt? Of all of Stephen King's excellent stories, of all of the disturbing and chilling stories this master of fear has written, THIS was what they decided to adapt? The script is atrocious. The acting? Boring. The story? Lame. Everything about this movie is just bad....

As for the things I enjoyed? There was some interesting references to the supernatural that I did like. It certainly had the potential to go places that could definitely bring some scares, but without truly exploring those creepy supernatural aspects, the movie failed to give us anything creepy or scary. There was nothing to understand or think about. It's a straight forward bore. I just wished they gave us maybe another 20 minutes of run time, and go through some of those God or Satan references that were all over the movie (and I assume, the short story this is based on).

I just wish this movie had lived up to the hype and had gone the extra mile to give us some of the things that could really give us a good scare. The kids weren't creepy, they were annoying. The acting? B-Movie level without the B-Movie. I was bored to death and wanted nothing more than for this movie to end (I actually got so bored I went back to my laptop and started writing something else). I really hated this movie so much that I wasn't sure I was going to even write a review...but alas, here it is. Children of the Corn? It sucks.

Final Score: 3/10

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