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Showing posts from February, 2019

E's Reviews: Lords of Chaos

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TRUE NORWEGIAN BLACK METAL!!!!!!!!!...and murder... LORDS OF CHAOS was directed by Jonas Ã…kerlund and stars Rory Culkin and Emory Cohen and is a biopic and takes place in 1987 Oslo, where 17-year-old Euronymous becomes fixated on creating "true Norwegian black metal" with his band Mayhem. He mounts shocking publicity stunts to put the band's name on the map, but the lines between show and reality begin to blur. Just to put this out there, this is sort of a docudrama...that starts out sort of silly and then...well...let's just get to the things I noticed about this film... To start, let's talk about the bad...the editing in this film kind of took me out of it briefly, with strange jump cuts to the future, thus making the flow of the film feel awkward at times. We see Euronymous at 17, then 18, 19, 20, etc. but without anything happening in between really, just the highlights of his career. Also, the film is being marketed as a "true story, mostly"...

Jeremy Chapter 1

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I've always wanted to tell you this, to explain to you, more than anyone else, what I'm going through. Unlike everyone else around me, you understood me. But Mark, and may I call you Mark? There's no easy way to say this...I couldn't have you running around. You're not stronger than I am. You're not better than I am. Wait, I shouldn't even say 'you're not' since...well...you can't even answer me anymore, especially since you're not breathing. Or have your tongue. You were probably thinking, as I cut it out, why I'd remove the tongue. Well, it's simple, I can't have you talking about what you've seen here. I can't have you droning on and on about how you're better and more powerful because blah blah blah...I needed silence. And you're not breathing because, well, you did attack me. Your own knife, used to slit your throat, cut out your tongue, and carve the sacred runes. But Mark...you let out a noise. I c...

E's Reviews: The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot

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The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot was written and directed by Robert D. Krzykowski and stars Sam Elliott as Calvin Barr, a man who served his country during World War 2 to assassinate Hitler. Years later, his country calls on him to once again serve his country, to eliminate the mythical Bigfoot because it is spreading a deadly virus in the wilds of Canada and is making it's way South to the United States. The film co-stars Aidan Turner who plays the WW2 Calvin Barr, Ron Livingston, Caitlin Fitzgerald, and Larry Miller. A lot of people were talking about this film after Fantasia Festival in the summer of 2018. I didn't know what to make of it, really. A lot of movies with silly titles, such as this one, are usually films I take a pass at. I saw Sam Elliott was starring, and had a cast of actors that I did enjoy seeing before. A few friends passed along what they thought, and I instantly knew I needed to see this film. Alamo Drafthouse here in town was lucky e...

E's Reviews: The Conjuring Franchise (Up Til Now) Rant

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Welcome one, welcome all, we're here today to pay homage to a great horror franchise (and by great I mean 3 of them are great...and 2 of them are...ehhhhhhhhh...) This is a franchise that I love with all my heart. A franchise that I've seen every entry (thus far) in cinemas. I've enjoyed the lore, I've enjoyed the villains and the heroes, I enjoyed the family drama and the happy endings (...I mean except for like two of 'em...) The Conjuring Universe (as it's being called now) is one that follows the cases of renowned paranormal researchers Ed and Lorraine Warren. I've known about them since I was young, watching episodes of A Haunting on Discovery Channel, and then doing research about them online and following their cases closely. It's one of those things that got me intrigued by paranormal research in the first place. I do believe in ghosts. Being raised Catholic, I do believe the devil, God, demons and angels all exist. For me, this franchise hit...